I was recently reminiscing about a lovely whiskey I shared with a lovely man in my pre-pandemic life. He’s one of those men who oozes an intoxicating combination of strength and complexity. He is a caretaker and delivers that care with the warmth of a true romantic’s heart. He is solid physically, socially, and mentally. Struggle as he may with it, and he is struggling, he also seems to be genuinely working on the emotional bit, too. I can see this struggle most acutely in his eyes when he is abruptly carried off somewhere else during our conversations. A shadow…
𝗕𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗦𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂! I hope this message finds you peaceful and resting today. If struggle surrounds you, I pray that peace finds you soon!
I’ve engaged in several conversations recently where I have heard a version of the following statement. ‘𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗜’𝗺 𝗶𝗻, 𝗜’𝗺 𝗮𝗹𝗹-𝗶𝗻.’ I always find these statements curious.
You see, I live my life all-in, all the time. If I’m not all-in, I’m out. There isn’t an large, self imposed gray area around my reality. 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿𝘀, 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝘀𝘂𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝗜 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗱…
Let’s talk about tax policy, sexy I know, right?
Despite feigned concern for America’s deficit, Heather Cox Richardson reports, “Senators John Thune (R-SD) and Mike Crapo (R-ID) and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) are leading an effort to repeal the estate tax. According to Michael Hiltzik of the Los Angeles Times, this tax falls on estates over $11.7 million, about a fifth of which are worth $50 million or more. The average estate affected by the tax is worth $30 million, and it affects about 2,500 people a year. It is enacted on capital gains that have not been…
Pollinate Sunday Sermon — 3.14.21
Blessed Sunday to you, my friend. I hope to find you enjoying peace, but if I don’t, I pray that whatever you’re dealing with brings you what you need to grow, and that peace will come to you soon. Peace was elusive for me this week. It seemed as though all of my ghosts decided to come for a visit. It started with a picture on my feed of an old flame, and the life he chose instead of mine. Then someone texted me about the close of a bad play I unwillingly…
As I approach the year anniversary of my former life, I’m taking stock on the toll Covid has taken on my relationship landscape. It has been quite a year. Major fault lines erupted in core relationships. Some have been strengthened, some have disappeared. Most of us have learned to live with less; less touch, less love, less security. Fear and anxiety took up residency in places it passed through easily before, and the Love Hierarchy that began to emerge in my inner circle at the beginning of this pandemic became a full blown family crisis only a few months later.
…
Our species is steeped in a Transactional Love Culture. In this reality love has become a commodity to be procured and hoarded. Instead of being the abundant and infinite source that it is, it has become a precious and valued commodity to be doled out to our finite and conditional hearts. It has been tightly interwoven with our sense of self worth, so much so that we abdicate our ability to experience love to only one person that will deliver it to us for eternity, reinforcing our very worthiness (or lack of) in receiving it.
It is no surprise that…
Leaving is hard to do, but it can be done well.
“He took care of everything Katie. You don’t need to do anything but sign some paper.”
My dad’s best friend was an attorney and had helped him get everything sorted out before he died. It was his last act of taking care of me. He knew that I would be in no condition to think through complex issues and make big decisions. He knew I would need all my resources to manage the intensity of the emotions quietly consuming me. Such is the experience of receiving a “good” goodbye…
It took an entire country and decades of abdication to make this mess.
Today, I’ve read many politicians, pundits and regular humans saying this insurrection is the responsibility of Donald Trump. I call a very loud ‘BULLSHIT!’
It is the responsibility of every American citizen that has supported Mr. Trump’s rise to power.
All of those who have supported gerrymandering districts across the country since the 1990’s so Republicans could hold onto power and make the voter’s check to power weaker.
All of those who have voted down ballot Republican over the last decade empowering state legislatures across the country…
We’re old friends now.
Darkness… my beloved friend. Most, if not all things, begin their life in darkness; seeds, humans, mushroom, animals and on. My life often chooses to be reborn within and along side Darkness. The great tragedy is not that Darkness comes, it is that we are never taught how to make it our friend. How to welcome it, honor it and even nurture it.
I think of Darkness now as a soul friend, my Anam Cara, that shows up at my house every once and a while for a visit. When she comes I drop everything for…
I mourn all of the things left unsaid between us.
Lost in the brevity and distance of letters scratched out on digital sand.
Held hostage by past wounds that are unwilling to release you to my arms.
What is lost in the shipwrecks of your past, scattered on this beach?
Trapping you in the fear of another catastrophic ending.
What wonders of the cool deep are you missing by lying in this shallow water, baking in the sun?
Alone.
I am hot and thirsty.
My smooth body longing to pass through the cool patch of water that is your deepest…
Writing on Spirituality, Relationships, Culture. Founding Editor of Pollinate Magazine. Twitter @Kathryn Dickel @PollinatePub IG/FB: @pollinateritual